


To Anyone Who Might Care

by MCUthere



Series: I Knew From The First Time, I'd Stay For A Long Time [2]
Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Accepting Parents, Adrian being adorable, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armando being a good dad, Awkward Family Dinners, Benji and the Salazar family, Benji is a good boyfriend, Big Brother Benji, Boys In Love, But only a little, Coming Out, Cute Venji moments, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Happy Salazar family, Isabel being a good mom, M/M, Non-Consensual Groping, Pilar and Benji friendship, Pilar being nosy, Pilar can sing, Pilar centered, Pilar's pov, Protective Siblings, Racism, Underage Drinking, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26788021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCUthere/pseuds/MCUthere
Summary: School is slow, but it always is. Pilar is used to everyone in her class ignoring her, but today, the loneliness feels more suffocating than usual. She misses her old friends, but her dry phone is proof enough that they don’t miss her.She sees the posters and banners for the stupid dance. The dance her brother was still attending with Mia, the dance her parents were forcing her to attend. She’d rather rather wear one of those brightly colored floor length dresses her mom likes and go to church than go to this dance. But everyone will be there, she remembers, maybe I can get some answers.//Or, my take on Pilar and more Benji & Salazar family interactions! This story focuses on Benji and Pilar.
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell & Lake Meriwether, Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar, Pilar Salazar & Victor Salazar
Series: I Knew From The First Time, I'd Stay For A Long Time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884646
Comments: 19
Kudos: 49





	1. Nothing is what I thought it was

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is sort of a prelude to the Benji and Pilar friendship I hope to establish. I wanted to set up my interpretation of Pilar first, set the foundation for her, to help make sense of her interactions with Benji. But I promise chapter two is when they actually get to interact and we see how Pilar is with Benji.
> 
> This is a continuation of the little universe I've created with 'You Can Count on Me' which you don't have to read first but definitely check out! That one is about Benji and Adrian:)
> 
> This was a complicated story to write. I’ve mentioned in the last story that I connected with Pilar, an angry 15 year old latina girl who feels like her family doesn’t understand her. So I was nervous to write it but also couldn’t wait to publish. I hope I did her justice. 
> 
> The title is from the Billie Eilish song Everything I Wanted.

When Pilar found the letter in her brother’s bag, she felt nothing but anger. “Who the hell is B?” she questioned out loud to herself. She hears the shower shut off across the hall. She quickly folds the paper, shoving it back into the bag. She grabs her jacket that she left on the couch and calls for her little brother. As Adrian grabs his own jacket and slips on his shoes, Pilar grabs a $20 from the emergency can her mom hides in the pantry. Pilar is fuming and she thinks both her and Adrian deserve more than one scoop of ice cream each.

She lets her younger brother lead the conversation during the walk to the ice scream shop. She tries to focus on his story about how his friend Greg got a crayon stuck up his nose but she couldn't. Her mind is still trying to decipher the puzzle at hand.  _ Who the hell could be B? _ She tries to think of every girl she knows at school who’s name starts with B, but it’s pretty hard considering she doesn’t really know anyone. 

By the time they finished their ice cream and made their way back home Victor was locked away in his room.  _ Good _ , she thinks,  _ I don’t think I could face him just yet.  _ She gets ready for bed but sleep doesn’t come easy. She lays on her bed in the dark, her mind running 80 miles per hour, all the shit that’s happened since moving from Texas, playing on repeat. Her breakup, her mother cheating, the constant fighting, their dad getting fired for punching his boss, now Victor. A wave of buried emotions finally hits, and Pilar cries herself to sleep.

She wakes up the next day with anger still simmering under her skin. Avoiding Victor is easy, they never walk together to school anyways, so she’s out the door before him and Felix. Felix. She wonders if he knows anything. Would he lie for Victor?  _ Yes _ , she thinks immediately.  _ Felix is a great friend to a fault, he would protect any secret for any of his friends, no questions asked. _

School is slow, but it always is. Pilar is used to everyone in her class ignoring her, but today, the loneliness feels more suffocating than usual. She misses her old friends, but her dry phone is proof enough that they don’t miss her. 

She sees the posters and banners for the stupid dance. The dance her brother was still attending with Mia, the dance her parents were forcing her to attend. She’d rather rather wear one of those brightly colored floor length dresses her mom likes and go to church than go to this dance.  _ But everyone will be there _ , she remembers,  _ maybe I can get some answers. _

***

She’s sat at her desk dressed and working on her makeup when a voice calls out to her. “Hey, which one of these do you think Mia would like better?” Her brother asks, holding up a tie in each hand. Pilar eyes her brother before saying, “I’d go with option  _ B _ .” She clicks her blush closed, pointedly looking away. 

Victor picks up on his sister’s attitude, but doesn’t think much of it. When isn’t Pilar upset? “Uh, thanks. Pretty crazy about Dad punching his boss, huh?” He asks, the new information playing his head since they hear it. 

Pilar applies her lipstick, still not glancing his way. “Yup,” She mumbles around the lipstick, closing it before finally looking up at her brother. “Not surprised he kept it from us though, this family is full of liars.” She stands from her desk, making her way to her bed where she left her heels, turning her back to Victor.

“Okay…” Victor looks taken back, but again, brushes off his sister’s weird behavior. Turning around and going back to his room to finish getting ready. Soon everyone arrives and Pilar wants nothing more than this night to go by quickly. Her parents take pictures of all of them, even forcing Adrian to go stand next to her for one. Both he and Pilar hate it. Pilar lets their mom take one picture before walking off. “Okay, that’s it.” 

The dance is in full swing once they all arrive, Pilar had stayed quiet in the car. She was forced to sit in the back with Felix and his date, which was better than the potential awkward car ride with Lake and her date. Pilar quickly makes her way to a quiet corner of the gym. She never liked dances, not even back in Texas. But at least she had friends and a boyfriend to make them less lame back then. Now, she just felt alone. Even with the shit with her brother, he at least had friends to hang out with at events like this.

She questions Felix first, demanding to know if her brother has mentioned any secrets. “Secret?” Felix questions, his voice higher than usual. “No, Victor and I aren’t that close.” He lies.

“Cut the crap Felix, did he cheat on Mia?” Pilar didn’t want to beat around the bush, she was tired of people playing games around her, hurting other people without a care. 

“What? No, why would you say that?”

“I found a letter he wrote about kissing some girl named B.” She informed him. Felix’s face goes pale, he glances over her shoulder at her brother. She doesn’t miss the look. “You know something. I can tell.”

He fixes his stare, trying to cover his ass. “Oh, no, that’s just for his creative writing class-”

“You’re Mia’s friend too.” She reminds him. “If Victor is sneaking around behind her back, you should tell her.” Pilar thinks back to her dad’s masked face, how he tried to reassure her that he had forgiven her mother for the pain she had caused him. 

“He’s not sneaking around, it was a one time thing on a work trip and he’s handling it. So just, give him a little more time.” Pilar perks up at his words. 

“So, B is someone he works with.” She notes, walking away without another word. She tries to think of all the female co-workers Victor had, but Pilar honestly didn’t know of any. She’s only been to the coffee shop maybe a handful of times, usually only when Victor is working, to try and convince him into giving her a free coffee. Her parents didn’t like her drinking caffeine, so it’s not like she was allowed to go often. She’s only ever seen him work with Benji or their manager.  _ God, my brother is a cheater.  _

She’s sipping her punch when she spots Benji across the room with his boyfriend. Taking a quick glance around, making sure Victor isn’t close by, she tosses her drink, makes her way to him. 

“Hey guys,” Pilar says, a fake smile on her face. She directs her attention to Benji. “Quick q Benji, you and Victor work together, like every day, right?” 

Confused by the sudden appearance and question, Benji fumbles out an answer. “Um, uh yeah, pretty much. Why?” 

Pilar presses on, “Do you work with any girls?” Benji can only recall four other staffers, three being girls. None of which work frequently with both of them. The only female they work with consistently is their manager.

“There’s Sarah, but she’s more of an angry woman than a girl.” He jokes, but no one laughs.

“Did Sarah and Victor ever go on a work trip together?” Pilar questions, hoping to get some details that could help shape the puzzle. She’s so focused on trying to connect the pieces, she doesn’t notice Benji shuffle nervously in his spot. Derek notices. 

“We were actually leaving soon, so we’re going to go dance.” The barista rushes out, trying to get Derek away before he connects the dots. 

But it’s too late. Derek pulls away from him, turning to the younger girl before them. “Why are you asking him all these questions?”

“Something happened on that trip, but forget it.” Pilar knew she was grasping at straws. Sarah didn’t even start with a B. She crosses her arms and leaves the couple alone, unware of the damage she had done.

“Benji, didn’t you and Victor go on a work trip together?”

***

Pilar leans against the edge of the snack table, feeling defeated and frustrated. Not only had she been at this dance for two hours now, her search for answers came to a dead-end. Her only option now was to confront her brother. Which, she is now realizing she hasn’t seen in a while. 

Some white girl, Caroline she thinks, was on stage announcing the King and Queen of the Spring Fling. “Victor Salazar and Mia Brooks!” The crowd claps and cheers, Pilar claps halfheartedly, glazing around for her brother and his girlfriend. She can’t spot them, the crowd murmurs around her. She spots a familiar head of hair, heading for the door. Pilar quickly shuffles her way through the crowd, trying to catch up to her brother. 

She had just made her way outside when she saw her brother standing in the middle of the road, Mia and Andrew a few feet away. 

“Mia, you’re like, my favorite person.” She hears him say. 

Mia scoffs, “Goodbye, Victor,” Leaving with Andrew.

“She found out, didn’t she?” She questions her brother, walking up behind him. He turns quickly, facing her. “That you’ve been cheating on her.” Victor’s shoulders drop.

“Pilar, it’s not what you think.” He tries to reason, but his little sister isn’t having it.

“I don't believe you.” Finally facing her brother, the truth of his actions finally hitting her. Her breaking point finally cracking. “Mom and Dad ripped us out of Texas and moved us here. I lost  _ all _ my friends. My boyfriend broke up with me. Mom turned out to be a cheater. And dad got himself fired. My whole world has been collapsing around me all year. But I thought, at least I still have my brother. At least Victor is still Victor. You were the  _ only _ person I thought I could trust. And now I feel like I don’t even know you.” She rants off, her voice breaking at the end. Her brother takes a step closer to her, reaching out for her.

“Pilar, of course you do.” He tells her, trying to figure out how to word his thoughts. For weeks, Victor saw nothing but anger in his sister’s eyes. But tonight, he saw all of her pain. He couldn’t keep lying to her. He was tired of lying to everyone. “I’ve been going through something. And I want to explain it to you, but not here. Okay? So can, can we please go home? Please.”

Knowing she was minutes away from crying, she agrees. “Yeah. Yeah, we can go home.” She lets him wrap and arm around her shoulders. She hesitates for a second, before wrapping an arm around him too. 

***

Pilar is still sat numb by her father, his hands over hers on her lap, keeping her anchored. Her mother’s words in her head.  _ We’re separating. _ Pilar doesn’t know how to feel. This wasn’t the news she expected. Victor stands up from his seat next to her, bringing her mind back, his words barely registering. 

“I-I need to go change.” He barely takes two steps before their Mom calls out to him.

“Wait, Victor. What were you gonna tell us?” Pilar almost forgot that her brother had something to say, the news of their parents eclipsing his momentarily. Victor pauses at the entryway of the living room, glancing back at them to say, “Nothing.” He turns back towards the hall, taking a few steps before spinning back to them. 

“No.” He says, regaining his parent’s attention. Pilar’s mind is still reeling, but the urgency in Victor’s voice makes her look up at him. “Not nothing.” Victor looks down at his shoes, then back up, looking directly at his parents. “Mom… Dad… I’m gay.” He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

Nobody moves. 

Pilar blinks, her brother’s words registering. She shifts in her seat, fighting the hem of her dress. A habit she has whenever she wears a dress. But, while shifting, her father’s hand tightens, keeping her in place. 

Pilar glances over to her Dad, whose jaw was clenched. Pilar could not read his face. Their Mom had her face in her hands, which were shaking.

She glanced back at her brother who, for the first time in a long time, looked like weight had been lifted off of him. Victor chewed on his bottom lip as the silence continued.  _ Gay, _ she thinks,  _ Victor is, is gay. But then that means- _ realization hits her.  _ B, B isn’t a girl. B, is Benji. _

Victor meets her eyes, his lower lip quivering. She figured it out, he can see it in her eyes. As angry as Pilar was for him cheating, because cheating was  _ never _ okay, she knew that her brother needed her more now than ever. 

She stands, pulling away from her Dad as he tries to keep her at his side. She marches over to her brother. 

“Pilar-” He mumbles as she reaches him, but she cuts him off, pulling him into a tight hug. She feels his tears hit her shoulder almost immediately. Her own tears fall silently. “I-I’m so-sorry.” He cries. Pilar only holds him tighter, her own tears falling. 

Finally, their Dad speaks. 

“Mijo?” Pilar steps away from the hug, but she stays standing next to him, her hand in his for support. Armando’s eyes are red, filled with unshed tears. His elbows are rested on his knees. Victor squeezes her hand, she squeezes back. A silent reminder, he wasn’t alone. Their Dad opens his mouth, but only sighs. He drops his gaze, shaking his head. Pilar’s anger reappears, building quickly.  _ Please Papi, don’t- don’t do this. _

She isn’t sure what she expected, the worst probably, but her Dad surprises both of them. The father of three strands quickly, taking one big step before pulling Victor into a hug. 

It takes Pilar a second to realize that their Dad wasn’t going to hurt Victor, it takes her another second to realize that her Dad was crying,  _ hard _ . “I’m sorry mijo. I love you, I love you  _ so much _ .” Victor’s arms are around his Dad in seconds. They hold each other for a few minutes before pulling away. Armando cups both of his son's cheeks, staring at his first born, before placing a kiss on his forehead. 

“I’m sorry for the things I said.” He says, shame building inside of him. “I-I would have never said them if I had- if-” He takes a step back, his right hand coming up to wipe away his tears.

“No one knew Papi.” Victor said, clearing his throat, feeling a bit raw from crying. “I- I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I just don’t understand.” Isabel says softly, gaining their attention. Pilar had almost forgotten their Mom was there. Armando takes his seat back next to his wife. Pilar goes to stand next to Victor, taking his left hand again.

“What about Mia? You can’t be, be  _ that _ if you like Mia.” Victor tenses next to her, his right hand coming up and across his chest, nervously gripping his left arm.

“I do like Mia.” He says, taking a shaky breath. “S-she’s amazing and at first I thought maybe... I just liked both or maybe just girls. But, the more I was with, with Mia, I realized that I didn’t like her like that. I c _ ouldn’t  _ like her like that.” His eyes stung again, fresh tears began to build. But he wasn’t going to back down. No more lies. “I really wanted to be normal Mami, I tired s-so  _ hard _ .” Pilar tugged at his hand, making him turn towards her. 

“You listen to me Victor Salazar, I don’t care what Tito, or church, or  _ anyone _ else says,  _ you  _ _ are _ _ normal _ . There is nothing wrong with you, you hear me?  _ Nothing _ .” Her voice breaks on the last word, blinking away her tears. Victor nods, not trusting his voice. They turn back to their parents.

“How long have you known?” Their dad asks. Victor guides his sister back to her seat, but she pushes him towards the space by their dad, taking his previous seat. 

“Um, since Texas. I’ve been questioning for years, but I was too scared to actually think about it. But when we moved, i-it was harder to keep pretending. But then I met Mia, and I- there was just something about her. She and I just clicked. But, then I met,” Victor looks away from his parents, his gaze landing on his hands on his lap. “I met a guy, and I never felt more understood or safe with anyone before.”

Pilar thinks back to every interaction she witnessed between Victor and Benji. Her brother never failed to have a smile on his face, even after a long shift. 

Armando glanced over at his wife, whose face displayed so many different emotions. He turns back to his kids. “How about we continue this in the morning, yeah?” He says. Pilar stands, waiting for Victor. Victor agrees and stands up with his Dad, who pulls him in for another hug.

“Te quiero mucho, mijo.” His Dad mumbles into his hair, and Victor has never felt more at peace. They pull away and Victor looks at his mother who won’t meet his eyes.

“Mami?” He calls softly. Isabel’s eyes drift from her hands to her wine glass, before finally meeting her son’s desperate eyes. 

“I-I need some time, Victor. I just need time.” 

Pilar wanted to argue, but one look at her brother and she knew now wasn’t the time. Instead, she follows her brother to his room. Victor is quiet, Pilar can see his right hand shaking as he opens his door. She moves to sit on his bed, patting the spot next to her. 

Victor tugs at his tie as he walks over, tossing it in the general direction of his closet, his suit jacket following it.

“So,” He says, his hands playing with the cuffs of his dress shirt. “Do you hate me?” Pilar shuts her eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at her brother.

“I don’t hate you, Victor.” She tells him, scooching closer so she can give him a punch in the arm. 

“Ow!” He rubs his shoulder, staring at his sister in shock. “You said you didn’t hate me!”

“I don’t. But I am mad. You cheated Victor, on Mia,  _ with Benji _ .” Victor keeps his hand on his arm, but lets his head drop, eyeing his shoes. “Why?”

“I never planned it. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“But you did.” They were quiet for a few minutes before she continued. “What about Mia? Did you ever like her?” 

Victor feels a little defensive, slightly annoyed that people keep questioning his feelings for her. “My feelings were never fake, I liked Mia. I just, I thought I could . I just wanted to be normal, Pilar, so bad.” Pilar pulls her older brother in for a hug and Victor finally lets himself fall apart. The feelings he had been trying to suppress for the last few weeks finally breaking free.

“So… how, how did you realize you were… gay?” Victor looks over at his sister. Tears stains dry on her cheeks, eyes still have a hint of redness and slightly still puffy. He knows he must look the same.

“I’ve been questioning for years.” He tells her, his voice shaking. “Thoughts would pop into my head. I kept hiding it and ignoring it for so long that I eventually just couldn’t do it anymore.” 

Pilar crosses her legs, adjusting her dress. “But there must have been a moment where you were like ‘ _ wait a minute… _ ’ you know? Like a celebrity! Who was your first gay celebrity crush?” Victor laughs, but his cheeks go red. 

“Don’t laugh.” Pilar prepared herself to laugh.

“I’m not promising anything.” 

“Fine.” Victor bites his nails nervously. “You remember when Mami and Papi made us watch  _ Abajo de la Misma Luna _ ?” Pilar tilts her head.

“Please don’t say your first gay crush was Eugenio Derbez.” Victor snorts, causing Pilar to crack a genuine smile for the first time that night.

“No!” He reassures her. “Eugenio Derbez is an amazing actor. Arguably one of the best, but not my type. It was the little boy. Adrian Alonso Barona.” 

“Oh my god.” Pilar starts to giggle, her laughter building slowly. Victor can’t help but join her. 

“I said don’t laugh!” 

“That movie was so depressing, how could you even  _ think _ about crushing on him when that boy was  _ going _ through it.” 

“I don’t know! I just did!” He says between giggles. “I just knew that I wanted to hug him and keep him safe.

Silence fell over them again. 

“You should have ending things earlier.” Pilar whispers. Victor pulls his legs close to him. “Mia didn’t deserve this.”

“I know, Pilar. I never meant to hurt her.”

“But you did. You did Victor! I- I can understand you being gay. I would  _ never  _ hate you for that. But you cheated, like mom. You  _ lied _ like both Mami and Papi. I’m tired of liars. I'm tired of all t-the lying. Victor… I-I’m tired.” Victor pulls his sister in for a hug before the first tear fell.

“I’m sorry Pilar. I’m so sorry. But I promise, I’m going to talk to Mia. I-I’ll explain everything to her. I promise.” He lifts his sister’s face, making eye contact. “No more lying.”

Pilar wiped at her tears, sniffling as she stood. “I really want to believe that, Victor. I really do. But…”

“You need time.” His brother says, echoing their mother’s words.

Pilar gives him one final look before leaving his room. She strips her dress as soon as her door closes, sleep finally taking over as her head hits the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrian Alonso was also one of my early crushes. As sad as the movie was, the boy looked fine as hell to little me. Part of why I cried so much at the end.
> 
> This story is actually fully done. I have all the chapters finished, but I don't know if ya'll want me to post them all at once or once/twice a week. Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Reminder: I do not own these characters or anything Love, Victor.


	2. A New Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But don’t expect me to welcome Benji with open arms. I’m still mad at both of you.” The teen clarifies. “He had a part to play in all of this. You weren’t the only one in a relationship, the only one who cheated.”
> 
> Not wanting to explain Benji’s complicated relationship with his ex, Victor replied with, “That’s fair, I guess.”
> 
> //
> 
> The aftermath of Victor's coming out. Pilar has a talk with a few people.

Pilar wakes up to a quiet house, which alarms her. Her house is only ever quiet for two reasons: (1) no one is home or (2) an argument is waiting to go off. She is usually the one to start the argument, but something in her gut tells her it won’t be her this time. 

She slips on her robe, grabbing some clothes and rushing the bathroom to shower. She notices both Victor’s and their parents rooms are closed. She showers quickly, rushing back to her room. She checks her phone, expecting it to be dry like always. Except it wasn't, she had 5 messages from Felix.

**Felix**

_ MORNING PILAR _ (sent at 8:00am)

_ you and Victor left so quickly last night i just wanted to check in on my friends:)  _ (sent at 8:00am)

_ Your big bro won Spring Fling King! Can you tell him i have his prize? its a gift card to olive garden!! Thx!  _ (sent at 8:01am)

_ Hey is everything ok? Vic isn’t answering my radio calls  _ (sent at 8:10am)

_ Pilar? ( _ sent at 8:13am)

_ I’ll be there in 5 _ (sent at 8:14am)

Checking the time, Pilar realizes it’s almost 11am now. She goes to Victor’s room, knocking but getting no answer. “Victor? I’m coming in!” She opens the door and finds it empty. His bed is made and the suit he wore the night before was still in a pile by his closet.

She turns, heading for the kitchen, closing the door as she exists. She finds her Mom cleaning the stove. Pilar knows she’s stress cleaning because  _ she _ had just cleaned the stove a few days ago. One of her many punishments for the multiple times she’s talked back to her parents over the past few weeks. 

“Mami? Is Victor home?” Isabel turns to her daughter, Pilar can see the bags under her eyes. Her Mom had barely slept the night before.

“He left with Felix around 8:30 this morning.” Pilar nods, dropping her stare to the ground, thinking, debating if she should reach out to either boy or let it be. 

“Mija, can I, can I ask you something?” Her mother asked, catching her attention. Pilar glances up, noticing how her mother is nervously twisting the rish rag in her hands. Cautiously, she says, “Uh, sure.”

“Victor denied it, but I have to ask anyway. Is the other boy, the boy he mentioned the night before, was he talking about Felix?” Pilar didn’t mean to laugh, it just came out. Isabel jumped at the reaction, not expecting it. 

“No, mami. I promise, Felix is  _ just a friend _ to Victor.”

“So you’ve known? About Victor?” The accusatory tone wasn’t lost on Pilar. Not wanting to start a fight, Pilar went back to the same cold demeanor she carried. 

“No. I didn’t know Victor was gay.” The mother of three turned back to the stove, looking unconvinced. The look irritated Pilar. 

“Unlike the rest of this family, I don't keep secrets. And even if he had told me earlier, I wouldn’t have told you or Dad. That was Victor’s story to tell. And there is nothing, _ nothing _ , wrong with him. Okay? If you have questions mom, go to him. I will not be used as some messenger.” She marches back to her room, where she spends the rest of the day hiding.

***

After an awkward dinner, Pilar guides her older brother to her room, closing the door behind her once they’re both inside.

“Have you spoken to Mia yet?” She asks, wasting no time. Victor huffs, falling onto her desk chair.

“No. I sent her a text this morning, asking to talk. But I haven’t received a reply. She did see it, I was left on read. I tried calling and it went straight to voicemail. Felix tried asking Lake, but that only caused them to get into a fight.” Pilar sat up from her spot on her bed, leaning back on the wall behind her.

“Wait, Lake? They're back together?”

“Yeah, Lake made this huge declaration of her feelings for Felix at the dance when they went to pick up the crowns on behalf of me and Mia. They’re okay now, Felix went to have dinner with her tonight.” Pilar ignores the little green monster inside her, focusing on her brother. 

“So nothing from Mia?”

“Nope. I wouldn't be surprised if she blocked me on everything and wants nothing to do with me. She has every right to hate me.”

“She probably just wants-”

“Space, yeah.” Victor interrupted. “I’m starting to really hate that word.” He crossed his arms, his stare lingering at his shoes before looking back up to his sister.

“What about Benji? Have you spoken to him?” Her brother’s cheeks and ears go red. Pilar didn’t know whether to feel angrier or happy by his reaction.

“Yeah, I uh, we spoke this morning.” She noticed how he picked at his nails, his eyes moving from her to her carpet.

“So what? Are you two dating now?”

“Sort of? We want to take things slow. We both just came out of relationships and I  _ just _ came out.” Right. Even though they aren’t in Texas, they still live in a relatively close-minded state. Not really accepting. Pilar had heard stories about a guy who had been outed at school a few years ago. She knew it was better, but she also knew first hand how racist her classmates were.

“What about school?” She gauged. “Are you ready to…”

“I’m not ready to go public at school.” He rushed out, sitting up in the chair. “Not- I just… I don’t want to hurt Mia more than what I already have. So please, Pilar. Don’t say anything.” Her heart aches for her brother. As much as she hated how hurt Mia was because of him, Victor was still someone she loved.  _ No one but me is allowed to mock my brothers _ . 

“I won’t.”

“Thank you.” 

“But don’t expect me to welcome Benji with open arms. I’m still mad at both of you.” The teen clarifies. “He had a part to play in all of this. You weren’t the only one in a relationship, the only one who cheated.”

Not wanting to explain Benji’s complicated relationship with his ex, Victor replied with, “That’s fair, I guess.”

***

School was very normal for Pilar on Monday. People either ignored her or said racist comments under their breath as she walked by. She was used to it, and has learned to ignore it all. 

She was making her way to lunch when she spotted a familiar head of curls. “Mia! Hey, wait up.” Her brother’s ex glanced up from her locker and then quickly looked away.  _ Oh hell no, I will not be ignored _ . Pilar marched over quickly, stepping in front of the older girl before she could run off.

“Pilar, now isn’t a good time.” Mia shifted her bag higher up on her shoulder, she looked tired. Pilar noticed that her face was makeup free.

“You can ignore my brother all you want but you’re not going to ignore me.”

“Fine. You want to talk?” Mia grabbed her by the elbow, leading her to an empty classroom further down the hall. “Let’s talk. Did you know? Did you know a-about Victor and-and-”

“No,” Pilar said, cutting off the older girl’s stuttering. “I found out a few days ago.” Mia sets her bag and books down on a desk, crossing her arms in front of her. She wants to look intimidating but the look of hurt in her eyes gave it away.

“Did you know about Victor? Was he just using me this whole time?” 

“I’m not the one you should be asking these questions to.”

“I am not speaking to  _ him _ .” Mia grabs her books again, making her way to the door but stops at the sound of Pilar’s voice.

“You once told me that the good parents try to act like they have their shit together. Victor never did, but he acted like he did.”

Mia scoffs. “Victor isn’t a parent.”

“I know it isn’t the same thing, but he  _ tried _ , Mia. He pretended like he was okay, not just for you, but for all of us. I’m not asking you to talk to him because he’s my brother, you should talk to him because _ you're _ my friend. And you deserve to know the truth.” Pilar can see her hesitate, the wheels turning in her head. “I’m not excusing his choices. I’m just telling you to give him the chance to explain everything so you don’t blame yourself because this wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”

Mia takes a deep breath, before leaving the room, not sparing Pilar another glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm just going to add a new chapter (hopefully) all today. I'm reading over each chapter for mistakes (small edits) as I post. 
> 
> Also, let me know any ideas you have for any other Benji and the Salazar family interactions ya'll would want. Can't guarantee that I can make them all or even make them quickly, but I will try my best!!


	3. Dinner with a Frienemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their parents announced that Victor’s new 'special friend' would be joining them for dinner next week. “So everyone needs to be on their best behavior.” Their dad warned them. Pilar glanced over at Victor, she couldn’t tell if his tight jaw was from nerves or because their mom had referred to Benji as his ‘special friend.’
> 
> //
> 
> Benji comes over for dinner.

A few days after confronting Mia, Victor burst into her room, telling her that Mia had finally reached out to him. “She wants to meet. To talk and get answers.”

Pilar doesn’t know if it was a good or bad discussion, only that by the next day, rumors about why they broke up began to surface. There were the usual assumptions: just another failed high school break up; Mia cheated with Andrew; Victor cheated with Lake; Victor cheated with some random person; maybe Victor was gay. 

The last one was correct (duh), some other assumptions were close, but Pilar didn’t say anything, obviously. But that didn’t mean hearing the conspiracies was fun, neither were the looks and whispers sent her way.

Victor and Benji kept their relationship quiet, if you didn’t know you wouldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. They were already friends, and with Felix hanging out with them at school, you could easily guess that it was just two friends helping their other friend get over a break up. 

But Pilar knew the truth. She noticed the lingering stares, how little to almost no space was between them. 

She kept her distance, never having to talk to the new couple unless absolutely necessary. She knows her brother has noticed her icy behavior, but he hasn’t questioned her. He understood her hesitation and frustration.

Felix was another story, he constantly tried to get her to join then for lunch. He ambushed her once after school. Victor had practice, so Felix had offered to walk her home. 

“Come on P, I know you’re mad.” He said, as they walked out the building.

“I’m not mad, and I told you to stop calling me P. I hate it.” She kept her face forward, ignoring the growing blush on her cheeks. Felix kept up with her increasing pace. 

“You like it and you know it.” He teased, bumping her gently with her shoulder. “But seriously, come on. We’re friends, right? Talk to me.” She stops in her tracks, Felix trips over his own feet trying to stop and not bump into her. 

“Felix, we are friends. But I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Fine. You don’t. But you  _ should _ . Come on. Why are you being so hard on Benji?” Her jaw tightened. She glanced around them, making sure there was no one around before answering quietly.

“They  _ both _ cheated, Felix. I can’t just ignore that.” 

“They both apologize, they-they both are trying to do better. Neither one of them meant for it to happen the way it did.”

“But it did happen this way. And I’m just not ready to forgive.” She starts walking again, Felix stood still for a few seconds, thinking, before jogging over to her. 

“Maybe you should talk to Benji.” He offered. “Help clear things up.” They reached the apartment complex, making their way inside. 

“Not sure if you noticed Felix, but I’m not much of a talker.” She said as they reached her floor. She stepped closer to her front door, Felix stayed on the stairs.

“No, you like to talk to Pilar.” He countered. "You just only do it when you want to argue or because you think you’re right.” She flips him off. Felix only laughs as he takes the stairs up to his own apartment. 

***

A week after coming out, Victor sat his parents down and told them about Benji. 

Pilar was instructed to keep Adrian in his room. It was an easy task, a promise of chips and YouTube videos did the trick. She wanted to eavesdrop, but knew it would be hard to do without Adrian wanting to join, so she dropped the idea quickly. 

The next day, her parents announced that Victor’s new  _ special friend _ would be joining them for dinner next week. “So everyone needs to be on their best behavior.” Their dad warned them. Pilar glanced over at Victor, she couldn’t tell if his tight jaw was from nerves or because their mom had referred to Benji as his ‘special friend.’

***

Most dinners at the Salazar home have been awkward lately. With Armando no longer staying in the apartment, the family was still adjusting. But both Armando and Isabel tried hard to keep some sense of normalcy for their kids. So family dinners were still a must. This new change only added an extra layer of awkwardness when Benji came over the following week as promised. 

Benji has been stressing about this dinner for days, ever since Victor said his parents wanted to meet him. Yes, he’s met the Salazar family before, but this time he was meeting them as Victor’s boyfriend. A month ago, they didn’t even know their oldest son liked boys, let alone he was dating one. 

Benji remembered how hard it was for his parents, and Benji doesn’t have siblings, so he wouldn't know if that helped or made things harder. He was aware of Pilar’s opinion of him, how she didn’t really like him. The freshman wasn’t necessarily subtle, she’s only ever sat with them twice since the dance, only ever saying hi and bye to him. 

Victor had tried to explain to Benji that Pilar was just sensitive when it came to lying and cheating, because of what happened with their parents. But he had a feeling that the anger ran deeper than that.

Nervous aside, Benji ran to his shower after school, quickly getting ready. He settled on a nice blue button up and black jeans with no rips. His mom is waiting for him downstairs with the items he had asked her to get for him while he was at school.

When Benji arrives, he stands outside the apartment building for a few seconds. He glances over his outfit one more time, hoping the bouquet of yellow and orange hydrangeas was the right choice. AJ, one of his close friends, had explained to Benji that hydrangeas would be the best flowers to bring, since they mean gratitude and heartfelt emotion. He stared down at the extra flower he got for Pilar, a purple alstroemeria. Friendship. Benji isn’t sure if he wants them to know what they mean or not. Too late to go back now. 

He reaches the door, taking a deep breath before knocking. 

There's some shuffling on the other side. Benji hears Victor’s muffled voice shout, “I got it!” Before yelling again, “Papi wait-” Then the door swung open, Armando standing at the door.

“You must be Benji, come in.”

***

The flowers were the right choice, at least for Mrs. Salazar. She gladly took them, quickly excusing herself to put them in a vase. Mr. Salazar led him to the living room, Victor not far behind them.

As nervous as he was, the second Victor sat next to him, Benji felt calmer. 

“Hi, you uh, you look good.” His boyfriend says, just soft enough for only him to hear.

“Thanks, you too.”

“So, Benji.” Armando says, getting both of the boys attention. “How, um, I know you and Victor work together at the café. He mentioned you’re the assistant manager. Have you been working there long? Got promoted?”

“Yeah, I started working there when I first turned fifteen, got promoted about eight months ago. Sarah, our manager, can be a little intense at times, but is a great boss. She really took me under her wing and is very flexible with my school schedule and band practices.” The father-of-three raised his eyebrows at the information. 

“You’re in a band?” Victor winces next to him, about to interrupt but Benji beats him to it.

“I was, but I uh, I recently left the band. I was the lead singer and played guitar.” If Armando noticed his uncomfortableness, he didn’t say anything. Victor was grateful, because he didn’t need his parents knowing the real reason Benji left the band was because of his ex, Derek. 

“You play guitar, that’s amazing. I play a little guitar myself.”

“Yeah, Victor mentioned how important music is to his family. Mrs. Salazar teaches piano, right?”

“Yeah, she does.” Armando asks a few more questions, about his parents (my mom is a professor at Strayer University and my dad is a financial analyst for an investment company) and what he plans to study for college (I’m not sure yet, but hopefully something in music).

Soon Pilar and Adrian joined them in the living room, with the younger sibling standing super close to his sister, practically behind her left leg. Armando waves Adrian over, having him sit next to him. Pilar stayed standing by the entrance of the living room, arms crossed in front of her and listened quietly. 

The boys kept talking, moving back to work. Benji and Victor were telling stories about times when equitments would fail or stop working, causing panic during rushes. 

“Wait, Flako, didn’t you have to take a machine to get fixed? You had to stay the night, right?” Both teen boys tensed, Benji gaining a sudden interest of his hands.

“Yeah, Papi, I-I did. The man working on it was this really old man, like Tio Nico.” Victor responded, trying to figure out how to switch topics.

“Wait, didn’t you have to go to an event at Mia’s house that day?” Pilar says, commenting for the first time. Victor gives her a pointed look, his sister only responds with a smirk.

“Yes, but the machine wasn’t ready, so we had to stay the night.” He explains. Pilar tilts her head, her smirk growing. Benji is tense, his eyes bouncing between the siblings.

“Anything happened on that trip, Victor? Anything, I don’t know,  _ memorable _ , maybe.” Victor’s hands ball up on his lap, his dad noticing the movement. Clearly, his daughter knew something Victor didn’t want to talk about. 

“Pilar…” Armando warned, but his daughter ignored him. 

“Mia was very understanding of the issue, wasn’t she? She really  _ trusted you  _ and thought about your work situation. Too bad you didn’t really think of her.” Victor’s eyes brimmed with tears, he stands, walking over to his sister who stood up straight, meeting her brother’s glare. 

“Pilar, please, not now.” He whispered, hoping his dad didn’t hear them. He didn’t but it wasn’t hard to figure out that something was wrong and he needed to diffuse the situation before his two kids start arguing in front of their guest. Adrian looks up from his dad’s phone, the argument in front of him becoming more interesting than the unboxing video he was watching. 

“Pilar, please, behave.”

“Me? I’m no the ch-”

“Pilar!” her father yells, which only angered her more.

“You  _ always _ side Victor! Perfect, precious Victor, who never does anything wrong!” She shouts. “You don’t even know that he-”

“Pilar.” Both the older sibling and Armando turn to the new voice. Benji, gently stands from his seat, his hands going to his jean pockets. “Can we talk?” He glances at Victor before turning back to her. “Alone?”

Pilar’s arms drop to her side, surprised. Victor tries to stop them, “No, Benji, you don’t-” but Benji quiets him with a look. The singer turns back to her, waiting for her response. 

She nods, “We can talk in my room.” Benji turns to his boyfriend, wanting to give him a reassuring kiss but settles for a smile instead.

***

She leads them to her room, neither speaking as they go. Pilar sits on her bed, crossing her arms once more. Benji takes a seat on her desk chair. They were quiet for a few seconds before Pilar breaks the silence.

“So you wanted to talk?” She questioned. Benji nods, adjusting in his seat, glancing down at his hands before looking back up again. 

“Yeah, I just want to know why you hate me so much.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“You can’t be serious.” She questions, but Benji only shrugs. “Because you two  _ cheated _ . You were both in relationships, but neither one of you seemed to care about that fact on that trip.” 

“How much do you know about that trip?” He asked her.

“I read the note.” She tells him, raising her head high, meeting his stare.

“So you only know about the kiss.” He says, sitting a little straighter.

“What more would I need to know.”

“Did you know that I switched job locations when we got back?” Her shoulder’s drop, but her stare doesn’t break. “Or how your brother almost had a panic attack after from how scared he was about what he had done?” Her face finally breaks, her stare dropping to her lap, adjusting the blanket on her bed. 

“Pilar?” Benji says, leaning forward on his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. She lifts her gaze slowly. “You’re right, okay? Victor shouldn’t have kissed me that night. And I’m sorry for the part I played in it. Because, as much as your brother denies it to protect me, I kissed him back. I- I‘ve had a crush on him since the moment I met him and it freaked me out. Mostly because I thought he was straight. So I thought it would never,  _ ever _ be an option. So when he kissed me, for a split second, I kissed him back. But we shouldn’t have. Not then, not when we were both in relationships.” Pilar feels validated for a second, but has a feeling that there was more. 

“But you need to understand, Pilar, that, when you are questioning your sexuality, things can get complicated. Neither one of us had gone on that trip with any intentions. Victor fucked up, we both did, but we’ve apologized. Both of us, to Mia, and she forgave us. She’s asked for space and we’ve given her that. It’s one of the main reasons why we haven’t gone public at school.” 

Pilar drops her gaze again. “I didn’t know that.” She tells him. “But just because she forgave him doesn’t mean I have to.” 

He sighs, “Because we’re not the one you're mad at.” Benji realized. “What happened, Pilar?” when Benji sees her hesitate, he continues, “I won’t tell Victor or anyone else, I promise.” He tells her softly. 

After some pestering, Pilar finally tells him. “I think my ex was cheating on me.” A weight she didn’t know she had lifted off her. She had never voiced her suspicions, finally saying it out loud felt good. Benji noticed the subtle change in her. “He blamed it on the long distance but he didn’t even try.” Her voice cracking at the end.

He doesn’t know how to respond. He debates walking over to hug her, knowing she might not feel comfortable with him just yet. Pilar continues, pulling him out of his inner debate. 

“You want to know the worst part?” She lets out a humorless laugh. Not being able to stop now that the dam was broken. “I didn’t even get a clear answer. He’s stopped answering my calls and my so-called ‘friends’ back in Texas stopped texting back.” 

“You deserved better than that.” Pilar scoffs, but he pushes on. “Pilar, look at me. I’m serious. I know what Victor and I did was wrong, I’m really sorry. I-” He hesitates. “I lied to Derek, my ex. When I got back from that trip, I didn’t tell him. I was so scared of losing him, I thought I could pretend like it never happened. I put distance between me and Victor. Hoping that it would help. But at the dance, when he confronted me and Victor stepped in to explain everything. I knew I should have been honest from the start. As hard as it was, it was for the best. He and I will probably never be friends but at least he knows why it all happened.” 

“What do you mean?” Pilar questions, earning a heavy sigh from the older teen.

“Derek and I had been failing for months, long before Victor came into the picture. But I was so sure I could do whatever it was to save the relationship. At some point, I stopped putting myself first. Victor was the one to remind me that I deserved better. And so do you Pilar. Don’t settle for the bare minimum.” Pilar keeps her gaze on her hands resting on her lap, but Benji notices her faint smile. “And Pilar?” She glances up at him. “Please try talking to Victor again. He misses you.” She nods, promising that she would. Benji glances around her room, taking a real look for the first time.

“Hey, that’s a Rex Orange County poster. You listen to Rex?” He questions in amazement.

“Yeah, I love their songs. You know them?” They continue talking about different artists, exchanging some of their favorite songs. 

“There’s this old record shop downtown, they have vinyl's, cassettes and CDs. Old and new artists. We should go sometime, my friend AJ works there.” There’s a knock at the door, it opens before either of them could respond, Victor’s head popping in. 

“Hey, um, dinner is ready.” Victor had volunteered to go get them, primarily to check if his boyfriend was still alive. He was glad to see that he was. 

***

Dinner starts awkwardly, Adrian is the first to break the ice. “So Victor is dating Benji now?” He asks. Victor tells him yes. Adrian tilts his head to the side, eyebrows crunching. “But Tito said that boys can’t like boys.” A heavy silence falls over the room. Benji isn’t sure what to do, should he try and explain? Should Victor? The two boys exchange a look, having a silent conversation on how to explain it to the young boy.

Pilar is the one to break the silence. Telling her little brother that anyone can date anyone, “Tito was wrong. Just know that Victor is still Victor and him dating Benji is okay.” 

Adrian nodded and then glanced up at Benji. “Do you like Disney?” 

“Uh, yes?” Adrian nodded and turned to look at his brother. “Okay, you can date him.” Everyone relaxed a bit more after that. The conversation slowly resumes, going from school and work to questioning Benji again. Isabel asked if his parents knew. 

“About me being gay? Yes, I came out to them over a year ago. They know about Victor too. They can’t wait to meet him.” The couple share a smile. “They were a little shocked when I told them, but they’re very accepting about it all now. I feel very lucky to have them.”

Dinner ended and they moved to the living room for dessert, which was a bowl of Benji’s favorite ice cream, mint chocolate chip (which Isabel had bought specifically). Adrian stayed on the table since he’s not allowed to eat on the couch since he spilled last time he had ice cream. 

Things were going well, Mr. and Mrs. Salazar felt more comfortable around their son’s boyfriend by now, happily telling embarrassing stories about their oldest son. As embarrassed as he was, Victor felt so happy to see his parents laughing along with his boyfriend. His mom had just finished telling a story about Victor’s failed attempt at soccer, which is a huge reason why he switched to basketball, when his dad inadvertently ruined the mood. 

“So, mijo, who’s the girl and who’s the guy in the relationship?” Armando realized quickly that he had asked the wrong thing by his son’s reaction. Both teens tensed, sharing a look before Victor set his bowl down on the coffee table. 

“Papi, I- that question isn’t really, um.” Benji saw Victor struggling and decided to step in. 

“Mr. Salazar, that question isn’t really appropriate.” He told the older man. “It’s actually really insulting.” Armando’s eyes go wide.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay, Papi.” Victor reassures his dad. “You didn’t know.”

“Can I ask why?” His father implored. 

“Yeah, I can explain.” Benji says, glancing at his boyfriend for permission. Victor nods. “Basically, Sir, no one is the girl in the relationship. Victor and I are both boys. Neither one of us is trying to be a girl.”

“That’s the point of being gay, Dad.” Victor says, adding on. “Neither one of us like girls, we aren’t trying to be girls either. I know the stereotypes of being- being gay is to be super feminine, and there is a good portion of gay men who are more feminine but there isn’t one way of being gay.” Victor thinks back to his conversation with Bram. “Being gay is just one part of who I am. Everything else, the clothes and activities, that has nothing to do with my sexuality.”

“I don't like to cook.” Pilar says, startling them. She had been quiet for most of the conversation. “But that doesn’t make me less of a girl.” She told them.

“I like to cook, but that doesn’t make me less of a man.” Benji added. Isabel and Armando share a look. 

“I guess we still have a lot to learn.” He said. “I’m sorry.”

The two boys shrugged. “It’s okay, Papi. You didn’t know. And I didn’t either. I’m still learning too.” Victor admits.

“Then I guess we can all learn together.” Isabel said, placing a hand over Armando’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be honest... I do not ship Felix and Lake. I don't hate them, but I don't think they are as compatible as they seemed to be portrayed. I love both characters each individually, I think they would be great friends. I ship Felix and Pilar more lol. But there isn't many fics about them :( Felix and Lake are together in this story tho. But who knows, maybe that will change in my universe...


	4. A New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last bell had just rang and Benji was at his locker, swapping out textbooks when he heard a loud thump. There’s practically no one in the hall, but Benji realizes that the noise wasn’t coming from his hallway, but the one around the corner. He hears a shout and goes to check out the situation. 
> 
> He finds Pilar at her locker, two girls standing behind her. He can tell that Pilar is trying to not react, but the girls are pushing their limit with her.
> 
> //
> 
> Benji and Pilar hang out alone for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a short one so I apologize in advance! But hopefully the next two make up for it:) Enjoy!

Benji, no longer in the band, has decided to re-join the music club in school. He didn’t realize how isolated he had been since dating Derek. Sure he still had a few friends at school he would hang out with every now and then, and he was reconnecting with AJ, but he stopped attending school events because Derek always complained. “I’m not in high school anymore.” He would say. “The vibes are just too  _ hetero _ for me.”

But now, Benji has more time. So he started attending Music Appreciation club again. Victor had practice Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Friday’s, and the music club met after school on Wednesday’s. So it worked out for both of them. Benji would go to the club meetings and after, meet up with Victor to hang out (read: make out).

The last bell had just rang and Benji was at his locker, swapping out textbooks when he heard a loud thump. There’s practically no one in the hall, but Benji realizes that the noise wasn’t coming from his hallway, but the one around the corner. He hears a shout and goes to check out the situation. 

He finds Pilar at her locker, two girls standing behind her. He can tell that Pilar is trying to not react, but the girls are pushing their limit with her. 

“What’s the rush  _ Dora _ ? Is your brother waiting for you? Or is he too busy messing around with guys? Imagine being able to date Mia Brooks and then picking a guy? Can you say fairy?” Both girls laugh. 

Benji’s face goes red with anger, he walks over, calling out to them. “You want to repeat that?” Pilar and the two girls turn to him, the two girls cross their arms defensively. Pilar closes her locker, turning to lean back on it.

“It was just a joke.” One of the girls rushes out, nudging her friend. “Right?” Benji stops next to Pilar, crossing his arms. 

“Explain it then. Go on, explain it to me.” The two girls glance at each other, stumbling over their words. “Yeah, because it’s not a joke. It’s just plain homophobia. So why don’t you two run along?” The two girls glances at each other, before they start walking away. “And if I ever see or hear either of you around Pilar or Victor, I won’t hesitate to tell Mrs. Albright.” At the mention of the Vice Principal, the girl’s visibly pale. They mumble out a quick ‘sorry’ before running down the hall.

Once the girls are gone, Pilar finally turns to him. “Thanks, but I could have handled that. I don’t need some guy to save me.”

Benji shrugs. “I don’t doubt that. But just because you can do something yourself doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.” He glances over his shoulder, in the direction the girls had gone. “Is that the first time they’ve bothered you?”

To his surprise, she snorts. “Them saying something racist? No, that happens about twice a day. The homophobic shit? That’s new. But I can take it.” 

“Have you told anyone? Victor?” Pilar shakes her head. 

“I can’t tell Victor,  _ You _ can’t tell Victor. If he finds out that people have been saying stuff like that to me. He’ll only freak out and blame himself.”

She was right, Benji knew that his boyfriend would find a way to take the blame. “That doesn’t mean you have to take it, Pilar. What those girls were saying isn’t nothing. I know you can take care of yourself, I don’t doubt that one bit. But I know that constant comments and microaggressions can chip away at you until there’s nothing left.”

“Microaggressions?” She takes a step back. “What the hell is a microaggression.” 

Benji’s phone buzzes, his friend Claire had texted him, asking him if he was still coming to the meeting. Taking another glance at Pilar, he texts Claire back, telling her something came up. 

“Are you hungry?” he asks his boyfriend’s sister, surprising her. 

“What?”

“We can go get some food, and I’ll explain more about microaggressions.” 

The freshman eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t you get food with Victor after his practice?” She questions. He shrugs. 

“Yeah, but I don’t think he’ll mind. I’ll just make sure to get something for him when we come back. So, want to join me?”

Pilar looks around, trying to seem casual. “Sure.”

***

They take the bus to Benji’s favorite shop for Vietnamese sandwiches. 

“Ben-mi?” Pilar repeats, making him laugh.

“No, it’s more like ‘ban-mee’. This is my favorite place to get them. I’ve brought Victor here once, he got the chicken sandwich. I usually get the grilled pork.” They eventually order (Pilar gets chicken, and Benji insists on paying for them both), taking a seat at a table by the windows. 

“So, you said something about microaggressions?” Pilar quips, taking a sip of her passion fruit slush with boba. Benji sips his own drink, a Thai tea.

“Yeah, microaggressions are basically comments made with underline or hidden racist/homophobic comments. Stereotypes and generalizations made, but they’re making it sound like they’re giving compliments or saying innocent comments. They’re said so casually, sometimes we don’t even pick up on them at first.” Their order is called and Benji goes to grab it. He watches intensely as Pilar takes her first bite, fighting back a smirk when Pilar takes an enthusiastic second bite. 

“It’s good, huh.” Pilar rolls her eyes, but nods. 

“So how am I supposed to know if someone is making a microaggression?” She asks.

“Well, the common one I get is, ‘are you a top or bottom’ or ‘you give me top energy.’ It’s always something to do with my sex life. Just cause I’m openly gay doesn’t mean I want to talk about my sex life. A lot of queer people are really private about their sex life. But so many people think it’s okay.” Pilar looks out the window, thinking for a second.

“So like in history class, whenever any battles between the US and Mexico are mentioned, the teacher and students look at me.”

“Exactly. I know Victor gets frustrated when someone assumes he’s Mexican if he says something in Spanish.” 

Pilar groans, “God, yes! In my Spanish class, when we first moved here, I always got asked how often we eat tacos or how lucky I must be for having tamales for Christmas every year. It’s so annoying. I mean, we have tamales, but we call them pastele. Completely different.”

They keep eating, sharing more stories about the racist/homophobic shit they both have experience. Benji mostly listens, sensing that Pilar needed this, he knows she hasn’t had anyone to vent to. He’s able to label some of the feelings she has or situations she’s faced. Their conversation slowly turns to music, in which Pilar admits shyly that she can sing. 

“My parents forced me to join the church choir back in Texas. I was in the group for 3 years before I quit.” She tells him after taking her last bite of her sandwich.

“Do you play any instruments? I know your mom teaches piano, so I’m guessing you all grew up with music.”

Pilar tells him that she can sing and knows the basics for piano, but wants to learn how to play guitar. She also tells him that Adrian plays piano the best out of the three. Victor can play guitar and can play the piano but prefers the keyboard. But they don’t have one anymore so Pilar isn’t so sure how rusty he is. 

He tells her that he can play guitar (electric and acoustic) and sings. 

Benji tells her about the Music Appreciation club. “You should come with me sometime. We watch documentaries on different artists or genres of music. We also have jam sessions. I think you’d like it.” She tells him that she’ll consider it.

Benji orders Victor’s food before they head back. They’re by the school entrance when Pilar decides to take the next bus home. “You can join us.” Benji offers. “We’re most likely just going to get some froyo and walk around a bit.”

“It’s okay, I should head home. Plus, I don’t want to be a third wheel.” 

Victor walks out the building just as Pilar’s bus pulls away. “Was that Pilar?” Victor asks, spotting his sister.

“Yeah, we hang out for a bit.” Victor gives him a questionable look. “We just talked, it was nice. Here, I brought you food.” 

Victor could tell that his boyfriend wasn’t telling him the full truth, but maybe it was for the best. If his sister willingly hung out with Benji for two hours, then that was a step in the right direction. Trusting his boyfriend, he didn’t press for more info, instead he took the food and gave his love a peck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the rating to T for language and because of one of the later chapters...


	5. Writing in a Notebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey everyone, thanks for coming!” She says, waving at them. “I see familiar faces and a few new ones, so I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Julianna, but you can call me Juls. I’m a senior and current president of this club. Today we are having a jam session.”
> 
> //
> 
> Pilar attends a Music Appreciation Club meeting with Benji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place after Benji's babysitting adventure with Adrian in my other story. It's not mentioned in here and you don't have to read the other story to understand, but in my head that is the timeline and I just wanted to point it out lol. That's part of why Pilar feels comfortable enough to join Benji in the meeting. Enjoy!

Pilar takes up Benji’s offer and goes to one of the Music Appreciation club meetings. She meets him at his locker after the final bell, making sure to wait until he and her brother have kissed goodbye. 

“You ready?” Benji asked, once spotted her walking towards him. She gave him a silent nod, lips pulled into a firm line. She glanced around the hall, not meeting his eyes. “Hey,” He said, resting a hand on her arm. “It will be fine. Everyone in the group is nice, promise.”

“I don’t have to, like, sing in front of them or anything. Right?” He shook his head. 

“Nope. Only if you want. Come on, the room is this way.

The Music club met in the choir practice room, with a table at the front filled with various snacks and drinks. Today's buffet consisted of chips and Capri suns. Benji grabbed a bag of chips and a juice pouch as he entered, nodding his head towards the snacks in encouragement to her. Pilar grabbed a bag of cheese ruffles, but no juice. She lifted her hydro in response to Benji’s silent question. He nods and leads them to a few empty seats near the back.

A few people come over and say hi to Benji, and he makes sure to introduce Pilar each time. After more people come in and take their seats, the club president, a blonde about Pilar’s height, stands and calls the meeting to order. 

“Hey everyone, thanks for coming!” She says, waving at them. “I see familiar faces and a few new ones, so I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Julianna, but you can call me Juls. I’m a senior and current president of this club. Today we are having a jam session.” A few people cheer, including Benji. “For our newbies, that means you have the next hour to brainstorm and work on music either alone or with others. We definitely encourage working together, bouncing ideas off one another. If you want to jam with instruments that’s welcomed, just be mindful of others and if you want to step out into the hall or outside that’s fine too. Just let me or Caleb, our club's VP, know. Also, feel free to get more snacks!”

People immediately began to break off into groups or go to corners of the room by themselves. Shuffling of backpacks being opened were heard as people pulled out their music journals. Benji even pulled out his own. Hesitant at first, Pilar reached into her own bag, pulling out a small black book. Benji noticed but said nothing.

A girl with brown loose curls wearing a 5sos shirt and green flannel sits down next to them. “Glad you came this time Benji.” She says, before turning to Pilar and offering her hand. “Hi, I’m Claire. I’m a junior and play bass, you?”

Pilar takes the outstretched hand, shaking it. “Pilar. I sing, know the basics for piano and sing a little.”

“Cool, are you in a band?” The girl asks. Pilar shakes her head.

“No, I just play at home.”

“Do you write songs?” Claire nods towards her black book. Pilar grips the book a little tighter, as if expecting someone to reach over and take it.

“N-no. Not really.” The girl doesn’t push for more, instead turning back to her friend who was watching their exchange.

“What about you Benjamin? How’s the music you’re working on?” Benji rolls his eyes at the name. 

“What have I said about using my full name Claire. And hear.” The two friends go over the songs he was working on, getting lost in their own little world. Pilar takes the opportunity and starts working on her music. She opens her book and goes over the lyrics she has so far.

_ I can’t say- _

_ that I’m perfect; _

_ I’m broke, cold, and reckless _

_ as much as i can’t help it; _

_ Sometimes it all just gets so lonely- _

_ thinking that you’re all by yourself- _

_ and you’re just crying for help _

_ Please please, tell me _

_ Why i overthink the things I do; _

_ Find out things aren't true _

_ It’s hard _

_ Oh, please please, tell me _

_ That it’s all going to be okay one day; _

_ Everything will come into place soon; _

_ I'm just lost and confused _

_ And i don't know what to do _

She had started to write the song a few days after the dance. Her feelings over the last few months burst out onto pages, creating the song. 

She hadn’t realized that she had started to sing the words under her breath as she went over the melody. Her quiet words had gotten Claire’s attention, who bumped her friend’s shoulder to point it out. When she reached the end, she felt eyes on her.

“What?” She said, her voice direct but her cheeks red.

“That sounds really good.” Claire says, leaning forward. “Did you write that?”

“Oh, um, yeah. I did.”

“Is it finished?” Benji asks. Pilar shakes her head.

“No, I’m working on the last verse, but I also still need to figure out the chords for it on guitar. I’ve practiced it on the piano at home, but I feel like it’s more of an acoustic guitar vibe.” She explains, relaxing a little. She never had anyone to talk to about her music. Other than her mom and her ex. 

“I can bring my guitar next time.” Benji offered. “I can help with the melody, if you’re okay with that.” Pilar thought it over for a second before agreeing.

“Can we look at the lyrics right now?” Claire asked, glancing down at the book. “We could probably figure out some of it now. Benji saw Pilar hesitate and was about to give an excuse but the younger girl surprised him by handing over the book.

He leaned closed to his friend in order to read the lyrics. He looked back towards the freshman when he was done.

“Pilar, these are  _ really _ good.” He said. “Can you sing some of it? Just so we can get an idea of how you want to play it?”

They spent the rest of the hour going over her song. By the end, Pilar had her song finished and most of the melody done.

As they started to pack, Juls made a few announcements of their next meeting and the activities they would be doing. “And don't forget, sign-ups for the end-of-the-year talent show will be open starting next week! So keep an eye out for it!”

Benji bumps her shoulder as they leave the room. “You should totally sign up.” He said. Pilar laughs. 

“Yeah, no.” 

“No, you totally should!” Claire agreed. “You should sing your song.” Pilar only shook her head.

“No way. People here don’t like me, and plus, I can’t even play guitar.”

“They don’t  _ not _ like you. They just don’t know you. What better way to show them what you’re capable of than performing an original song?” Claire argued.

“Fine, I’ll sign up. But only if Benji performs with me.” Pilar challenged. Benji called her bluff and agreed.

***

Victor had been working on his homework at the kitchen table when the doorbell rang. “I got it!” he shouted as he made his way to the door. He figured it was either Felix making an unannounced visit like usual or maybe a neighbor asking for sugar. But to his surprise, his boyfriend stood waiting at the other side of the door, his guitar case thrown over his shoulder. “Benji? What are you doing here?” Before the older boy could reply, Pilar appeared behind Victor.

“He’s here to see me. Come on in.” She pushed her shocked brother aside and opened the door wider. Benji walked in and gave Victor a peck on the cheek. “Sorry, I guess I should have texted you a warning, but I figured Pilar would have told you.” Benji explained. Both boys turned to Pilar, who only shrugged. 

“I thought you would tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Victor asked, growing more worried. 

“We signed up for the talent show together. So he’s here to practice. Which we will be doing in my room, come on Benji.” Victor turned to his boyfriend for confirmation. Benji nodded. 

“Yeah, we did. And don’t ask what, it’s a surprise.” He winked at his boyfriend before following Pilar to her room.

Benji came over every weekend up until the talent show. They even had to plan it during Victor’s work shifts after they found him pressed against Pilar’s bedroom door trying to listen.

On the day of the talent show, Isabel made sure to take a sign for Pilar, encouraging Victor to make one for Benji. 

“I don’t know if signs are even allowed at this event Mami.” Victor argued, but his mom pushed the paint towards him anyway. 

“I’d like to see them try and stop me.”

They were one of the last performances to go on. The lights went dark before a spot light was set at the center of the stage. Pilar walked out and took a seat on the left stool, while Benji sat on the one on the right. 

“Hello everyone.” Pilar said, her voice steady. “My name is Pilar Salazar and this is Benji Campbell.” Benji gave a small wave. “And we are going to sing a song I wrote, hope you enjoy it.” Pilar glances over to where her family is sitting and starts to sing.

_ I can’t say _

_ that I’m perfect; _

_ I’m broke, cold, and reckless _

_ as much as I can’t help it; _

_ Sometimes it all just gets so lonely _

_ thinking that you’re all by yourself _

_ and you’re just crying for help _

_ Please please, tell me _

_ Why I overthink the things I do; _

_ Find out things aren't true _

_ It’s hard _

_ Oh, please please, tell me _

_ That it’s all going to be okay one day; _

_ Everything will come into place soon; _

_ I'm just lost and confused _

_ And I don't know what to do _

_ Everything is so new _

_ It’s hard to breath _

_ And my world is just turning _

_ It’s crumbling and left burning; _

_ And my heart feels so used _

_ It’s broken, left in two _

_ left in two _

There are no awards, but they do get loud applause. Both the Campbell’s and Salazar family are waiting for them outside after. Adrian hands both of them a small bouquet of flowers.

“You two were so amazing.” Isabel says, pulling her daughter in for a hug. 

“Thanks mom.” Pilar says, before turning to hug her dad. 

“Will we get to see you two perform again?” Benji’s mom asked. The two teens share a look, Benji raising a brow at the singer. Pilar gives him a small smirk.

“Yeah, maybe.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isabella Ferreira, the actress who plays Pilar, posted a video on twitter of a song she wrote about Pilar's feelings throughout season 1. That's the song in this chapter. Here is a link to the tweet:
> 
> https://twitter.com/theisabellarose/status/1274550518854057985?s=21


	6. A Party Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Benji?” A small, watery voice asks. He sits up, pulling away from Victor completely.  
> “What’s wrong?” His boyfriend asks. “Who is it?” Benji doesn’t answer him, instead he stands and starts to pace in his room.  
> “Hey, yeah it’s me. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” There’s only whimpers and cries in response. “Pilar, hey, I need you to answer me.”
> 
> //
> 
> Pilar calls Benji for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for groping (as listed on the tags). I've used the ## before and after the sections so if you want to skip those parts you can. There are two moments, the first one is a semi-lengthy part, the second is just a quick paragraph. Again, warning in advance.
> 
> This is the last chapter:/ If I get more ideas, I will probably just add it to the series, not the story directly.

Summer time, one of Benji’s favorite and least favorite times of the year. It was his favorite because no school, but least favorite because of the heat. Sometimes, his family would even go on a week long vacation. They had one planned but for later in the summer. Right now, they were only a few days into the summer. Benji's mom had gone out of town at a conference this weekend and his dad went to visit his uncle upstate, leaving the house to himself. 

Victor had a closing shift, but promised to come over to his place after. Since it’s summer (and Victor has proven to be trusting again) his parents have given him a curfew of 1am. Giving them a few hours of alone time.

By 10:25pm, Victor is standing outside his front door as promised. Benji eagerly pulls him inside, leading him straight up to his bedroom. Benji already had his hands under Victor's shirt by the time they had reached his door, pushing the material up his body as if it had personally offended him. The younger boy took the hint and pulled away from his boyfriend long enough to pull the garment off, tossing it over his head without a care. Benji stripped his own off before pushing him on the bed and climbing on top of him. They weren’t planning to go any further than this, but Victor was starting to feel more comfortable and willing to explore more with every passing day.

They had been making out for a while when Benji’s phone started ringing. They ignore it at first, letting the call go unanswered. But almost immediately, his phone starts ringing again. Pulling away, Benji reaches for it, not bothering to check who’s calling.

“Hello?” He says, a little more annoyed than he probably should have. He feels like someone poured ice cold water over him when he hears the voice over the line.

“Benji?” A small, watery voice asks. He sits up, pulling away from Victor completely. 

“What’s wrong?” His boyfriend asks. “Who is it?” Benji doesn’t answer him, instead he stands and starts to pace in his room.

“Hey, yeah it’s me. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” There’s only whimpers and cries in response. “Pilar, hey, I need you to answer me.” Hearing his sister's name, Victor sits up.

“I’m I-” Benji hears her take a deep breath. “I probably shouldn’t have called but I can’t go home and you said to reach out if I ever needed you and I just can’t be here anymore. I can’t. Please.” He can hear her crying again. Benji searches for his shirt. Victor realizes what he’s doing, tossing him his shirt and throwing on his own.

“No, I’m glad you called. Where are you? What’s wrong?”

“I came to this party and this- ugh I feel so  _ stupid _ . I should have known better.” Benji realizes that the tears aren’t the only reason for her slurred words. “Pilar, I need you to text me the address.”

“I d-don’t remember it.” Benji hears a thump on the other side of the call.

“Can you share your location with me?”

“Y-yeah hold on.” Benji glances over at his stressed boyfriend. He tries to offer him a small smile, but Victor doesn’t return it. “Okay, it’s sent.”

“Okay good. Now, where are you? Are you alone?”

“I found a random closet upstairs.” 

Benji can hear the faint beats of music and muffled conversations.  “Good, I need you to stay there and I’ll come get you, okay? Don’t move.” After she promises not to move, hangs up. He reaches for his shoes that were left by the door.

“Was that Pilar? What’s wrong? What happened?” Victor immediately starts asking, following his boyfriend and slipping on his own shoes.

“She’s at a party.” 

The other boy freezes his movement, looking at his boyfriend is shock.  “ _ What?  _ How?”

“I’m not sure but I have to get her.” Benji leaves the room, Victor close behind him.

“Well I’m going with you.” 

Benji turns to him once he reaches the bottom of the stairs, placing a hand on Victor’s chest to stop him.  “No, you’re staying here.” 

Victor immediately starts to protest.  “She’s  _ my sister. _ Of course I’m going with you.” He reasoned, but Benji still shakes his head.

“If she sees you, she’s going to freak out and will get mad at me. Please, Victor. She sounded really scared and I don’t want to waste time arguing.” Victor pushes past him, towards the door.

“Exactly, we can’t waste time arguing. Plus, how do you plan on getting there? I don’t have my mom’s car and you can’t drive.”

“My suspension was lifted two weeks ago and you know that.” Benji argued, walking to the kitchen counter to grab the car keys. “Plus, my mom carpooled to the convection, leaving her car.” He turned to his boyfriend once more, eye pleading. “Please Vic, just trust me and stay here.”

“I trust you. And I remember that your suspension was lifted but you also said that you weren’t ready to drive so I’ll drive us there.” Victor said, taking the keys from him and opening the door. Benji knew he wasn’t going to be able to stop him.

“Fine, but you stay in the car when we get there. I go in alone.”

“Fine.”

***

They spot the house easily, it was the only one blasting music that could be heard a block away. Victor parks the car down the street, shutting the car off as he turns to his boyfriend.

“Stay here, you promised.” Benji says, already knowing what he was going to argue. Victor sighs, taking defeat. 

“Fine, but hurry.”

Benji pushes his way through the entrance, avoiding the calls of drunk students who recognize him. He goes straight upstairs, calling out for Pilar. A door down the hall on the left side opens, and out crawls Pilar. Her phone in one hand, an empty red solo cup in the other.

“Benji?” She slurs, trying to stand. He rushes over, helping her up and tossing the cup aside. 

“I’m here, come on.” He walks them down the stairs, pushing past more people in order to reach the front door. 

“You okay Pilar? Do you feel dizzy?” He asks the younger girl, praying that she doesn’t get sick in the car. Pilar only groans in response. They reach the car with no problem. Benji opens the door to the backseat and slides both of them inside. Pilar gasps at the sight of the driver, turning to the musician with betrayal written across her face. 

“You brought  _ him _ ?” She says, before tears start falling. Benji reaches across her, strapping her seatbelt into place as Victor starts the car. 

“I was with him when you called, P.” Victor explains, glancing at the pair through the rearview mirror. Benji gives him a look,  _ not now _ . 

The drive back to Benji’s house is quiet, only Pilar’s sniffles breaking the quiet every now and then. Benji guides her inside, Victor trying hard to keep his anger inside from behind them. Benji leads Pilar to his living room, sitting her down on the couch and offering her a blanket. 

“What. The. fuck.” Victor says as he enters the room, turning to his little sister. “Pilar, what were you thinking? How could you be so _stupid_? Drinking? You’re not even fifteen let alone twenty-one!” Pilar’s tears return at her brother’s words. Benji goes over to his boyfriend, trying to pull him out of the room. 

“Victor, come on, now isn’t the time.” He tries, voice low and steady, but that only angers his boyfriend. 

“Not the time? B, she  _ snuck out _ to a party and got _drunk_. What? Should I just let it go? Act like it was no big deal?” Benji sighs, tugging his arm again, trying to get him out of the living room. Victor let's him, but still keep s his gaze on him, waiting for an answer.

“I didn’t say that. Of course it’s a big deal, but yelling at her won’t work. We have to let her explain-”

“ _ Explain _ ? Explain what? Are you really going to side with her? Over me?” Victor asked, shocked at his boyfriend's words.

“This isn’t about sides, Victor. Your sister made a mistake but she doesn’t need to be yelled at right now, okay?” Benji tries reasoning.

“A mistake?” Victor barks back. “She got  _ drunk _ ! How can you possibly-”

“Because I’ve done the same thing!” Benji shouts, cutting him off. “I’ve done the same  _ stupid _ mistake and I can say with full confidence yelling doesn’t help. So please.” He begs, voice going low again. “Go cool down in the kitchen and let me handle this.” 

Victor takes a step back, his anger from before leaving him immediately. “Benji, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I know. But just go Victor, please.” Victor glances behind him once more before looking back to his boyfriend, nodding. 

Once gone, Benji closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before walking back into the living room. Pilar is where he left her, except her shoes are off now, lifted up on the sofa and tucked under her. She still has the throw blanket wrapped around her, her gaze fixed on the photos placed on the mantle in front of her. 

He makes sure to make noise as he approaches her, not wanting to startle her. If she notices him, she doesn’t give him any sign. He sits down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“You okay?” Pilar turns to look at him slowly and just falls apart. He wasted no time pulling her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulder, rubbing small circles on her back to try and calm her down. She buries her face into his shoulder, crying hard. “It’s okay.” He tells her. “You’re okay. Let it out.” 

After a while, she calms down, but doesn’t pull away. Benji let’s her take her time, staying quiet as she collects herself. She finally pulls away, wipes at her eyes. 

“Fuck,” She mumbles. “My make-up is messed up.” They both chuckle.

“You want to talk about it?” She huffs, leaning back into the couch, her eyes had a far away look in them. Benji could see the tension in her shoulders, the tiredness in her eyes. “We can wait until tomorrow, if you want.” He continues, offering her an out. 

Not moving her gaze, she shakes her head. “No, I-I want to. I just…”

“Take your time.” Benji drops his gaze to his hands, giving her some space. He looks back over to her at the sound of sniffling. He sees a tear run down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away, finally turning to look at him. 

“Um, Nora and I got invited to the party, on the last day of class. Obviously she couldn’t go, since she and her parents went to visit her brother in New York. So, I figured I’d go anyway.” she said, shrugging.

Pilar and Nora had coined an unlikely friendship just a few weeks after the dance. They had apparently been in the same English class, but hadn’t spoken before. Nora had approached Pilar after class one day, introducing herself. She told her about her own experience of when Simon had come out in Creekwood. They were as different as can be on paper; day & night, but the two girls became inseparable.  But Nora was gone and Pilar had gone alone. 

_ God, why did I go alone?  _ She thought to herself.

“Do your parents know you went to this party?” He asks her.

“No, they don’t know that the Spiers left today. I told them I was sleeping over and that they would leave tomorrow.” Benji takes in the information. 

“Did you know anyone at the party? Any friends?” She shrugs, tightening the blanket around her, making her look smaller. 

“There were people from some of my classes. They were mostly kids from my grade, a few juniors and seniors. I hung out with a few people, but then- then-” Her eyes start to water again, Benji lifts his arm, about to hug her again before stopping, dropping his arms to his sides. 

“Can I hug you?” He asks this time. She nods, meeting halfway. Her face rested on his chest, trying to control her breathing. 

“There was this guy, Mark” She mumbles, still resting against him. “I’ve seen him around school, we have the same Bio teacher, but at different times. T-that’s how we started talking.”

##

“Was he the one to offer you a drink?”

“No. One of the girls I was with did. This isn’t the first time I’ve had beer, I’ve had some in Texas.” That was news to Benji. Victor and his family always describe her as the typical moody teen, but aside from being moody (and the surprise tongue piercing), Pilar is actually a big rule follower. 

“So you had one beer?”

“Three… plus the drink Mark offered to make me.” She says, her voice low. Benji feels a chill go down his spine.

“Pilar, did he-” She pulled away from him quickly, turning to face him. 

“No!” She rushed out. “He didn’t drug me. I saw him make my drink. He just made it stronger than I’m used to.”

“So that’s how you got drunk?”

“I didn't mean to, really. Three is usually my cap, but Mark kept asking and I just… I thought it wouldn’t make a difference. Then Mark took me to one of the living rooms. The damn house had, like three. We sat on a couch and we… you know…” She looked down at her hands again, her hair falling over her shoulder, shielding her face. 

“Kissed?” He guessed. 

“Yeah, we started making out. But then Mark, he, he…” Benji reaches between them, taking her hand in his, giving it a squeeze. A silent reassurance. “H-he kept trying to put his hand u-up my shirt. After the second attempt, I pushed him off me. I-I told him to stop. But he said, ‘What’s wrong? I heard Latina girls are freaky and I wanted to see if it was true’ and then he just grabbed me.” Tears start to fall again. He opened his arms again and Pilar fell forward for the embrace. 

“It’s okay, we can finish later, you’re okay. You’re safe.” He just holds her, fighting back his own tears, pushing down his anger.

##

Victor comes into the living room, a glass of water in one hand and a stack of pancakes in the other. “Hey,” He says softly, gaining both of their attention. “I uh, I come in peace.” Pilar pulls away from Benji with a shaky laugh, offering her brother a small smile.

Victor sets the items on the coffee table in front of his little sister. “You’re favorite, banana pancakes.” Pilar looks up at her brother for a second before jumping up from her seat and pulls him in for a tight hug, startling both of the boys. 

“Thank you.” She whispers to him. Victor hugs her back, pulling her close.

The boys let her eat, moving to the kitchen to talk privately. Benji catches the time on the oven, his eyes going wide. 

“V, you need to go.” His boyfriend freezes in front of him.

“I- B, I know I was out of line earlier-”

“No, babe. I meant your curfew, you have less than thirty minutes to get home.”

“But, Pilar. I can’t take her home like this.” He was right. Although sober now, she was not okay right now. She was supposedly at a friend's house for a sleepover-

“You don’t have to. She can stay here.”

“Benji.” Victor starts to protest, but his boyfriend continues.

“Your parents already think she’s staying at Nora’s and my parents don’t come until tomorrow night. It’s fine.” Victor hesitates, thinking over the plan. “She’s safe here, promise.” He adds.

“Okay, okay. Yeah, she definitely isn’t okay to leave. But I’m coming back in the morning.” Benji smiles, pulling him close for a kiss. Pulling away enough to rest his forehead against Benji’s. 

“You’re the best.” He whispered, opening his eyes to look into his boyfriend’s hazel eyes.

Benji whispers back, “You’re pretty great too.”

Victor orders an Uber as they make their way back to the living room. He goes over to his sister to say goodbye, promising to be back in the morning to pick her up.

“Goodnight.” She mumbles into her brother’s shoulder as they hug.

“Night, portate bien.” He teases, earning a soft punch to the arm.

Once Victor leaves, Benji and Pilar get ready for bed. He encourages the younger teen to wash her face and brush her teeth while he finds her some comfy clothes to change into. He guides her to the guest room next to his bedroom. Her eyes closing as soon as her head hits the pillow. 

“Goodnight Pilar.” He’s about to walk away from her when he hears a quiet, “Goodnight Benji, you’re a good brother.”

***

As promised, Victor comes over the next morning by 9am, carrying a carryout tray of Starbucks coffee. His boyfriend answers the door still wearing his pjs, sporting bedhead hair. Victor couldn’t help but grin at the sight.  _ Ugh, I have the world’s cutest boyfriend. _

“Buying from the competition? Sarah won’t like this.” Benji teases as he lets him in.

“What Sarah doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” He sets the tray down on the kitchen table. Victor takes a cautious step forward, debating if he’s allowed to give him a kiss after what he said the night before. Benji wastes no time pulling him close, giving him a kiss, which his boyfriend eagerly returns. 

“Did you parents question anything?” The singer asked, pulling away from the kiss and grabbing his iced coffee. 

“They didn’t suspect a thing. Didn’t even ask me anything. Which is great because I really didn’t want to lie to them, and risk Pilar getting in trouble. It would ruin the progress she’s made with them.” Victor glances around, realizing his sister wasn’t around. “Where is Pilar?”

Benji snorts, “She’s still sleeping.” Benji doesn’t mention that Pilar called him brother.  _ She probably won’t remember anyway. _

After much protest, Victor convinces him to let him make breakfast. Victor is making the last bit of food as Pilar walks down. She gives an awkward wave and sits at the counter. She goes to apologize but Benji stops her. 

“Food first. Then we can talk.”

They eat in silence at first, but then Pilar asks Victor if their parents know. 

“Nope, they think you’re at Nora’s.”

Once they finish eating, Pilar apologizes to both of them before telling Victor what happened.

##

How she had been invited to the party and how a guy had been flirting with her and he went in for a kiss and Pilar stopped him. How the guy told her that he heard that Latina girls are freaky and wanted to see if it was true. How he had forced her hand in his dick and kept kissing her neck. She was shaking a little and Benji reached over, placing a hand over hers. She continues, telling him how she eventually pushed him off and ran upstairs. She felt dizzy and scared and that’s when she called Benji.

##

“I’m glad you called me.” Benji tells her. “You did the right thing.”

Victor is mad, practically vibrating with anger. “Who was it? I swear I’m going to-”

“To do nothing Victor.” Pilar tells him, her face serious.

“But Pilar-” His sister cuts him off, lifting her fork at him.

“ _ Nothing _ . Okay? The scratches I gave him should be enough.”

“If he tries anything at school...” Victor warns, not being able to finish his thought.

“Then we tell an adult.” Benji cuts in, eyeing the two siblings. “Neither one of us can afford getting in trouble for beating up the guy.” He reminds them. 

Benji was turning 18 soon, so he could be charged as an adult. Victor would be kicked off the team and Pilar already had one strike from fighting with a girl last year. 

Benji sends Pilar to shower and change. Once she was upstairs, Victor turns to his boyfriend, tears running down his face. “I wasn’t there B. I- I should have been there. I couldn’t protect her.” Benji stands up from his seat, pulling him up into a hug, letting him cry. 

“You can be there for her now.”

***

With breakfast done, Benji convinces them to go out and do something fun together.

"I think we all need some fun right now." He argued. 

They debate over what to do before finally settling on mini golfing because the Salazar kids have never been. They take Benji's mom car, Victor driving again. They go to the local mini golf place, which was had a decent amount of people for a Saturday at 11am in the summer. They’re at hole number 4 when Victor goes to find his lost ball by the fake bridge. 

Pilar leans over to Benji and thanks him again. “For the night before, and for today.” She clarifies.  Benji assures her that it wasn’t a big deal, but Pilar is insistent. “It was. And I can’t thank you enough.” Benji pulls her in for a hug which Pilar rolls her eyes at but returns it. 

He’s about to pull away when she continues, “You’re the best brother anyone could have.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is it!! What do ya'll think? Not going to lie, I took a while finishing the last three chapter, which is why I took so long to post. Part of the reason was because I got writers block and I also started watching Thai BL dramas... that is a black hole I told myself not to fall into yet I did anyways lol. So BrightWin, OffGun, KristSingto (Peraya) distracted me. Blame them lol. Especially Bright and Gun. 
> 
> If you have any ideas, please feel free to comment them! I'd love to get some inspiration! Michael Cimino tweeted recently how he just read the script for the first episode so my LV hype is growing!! Enjoy!


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